BOO TO YOU I'M BACK.

It's about time, isn't it?

Hellllooooo there. Yes it is I. No I didn't die. I promise this isn't just some dumb New Year's Resolution I was only going to keep for a couple of weeks. I have been wanting to post for months now, but alas, my computer had other plans. Way back when, at the end of June, my computer decided to stop working. *cue snapchat of me saying "RUUDDDDEEAAA"*  I couldn't log onto it at all, meaning I definitely couldn't post on my blog. (yes I know there are ways to post on your phone, and yes I know I could have borrowed a roommates computer, but those options didn't suit me aight?) In an attempt to fix it, I drove 30 minutes to an Apple store in the middle of some Florida mall. Of course it was insanely busy and I didn't have an appointment. Thankfully, some nice cute worker came over to see what the problem was. And there I learned that I had something they called a "vintage mac." It was an old model, so they had no way of helping me. So I drove home. (and also nearly died ps, Florida drivers are WHACK) (yesS they are worse than Utah drivers, don't @ me)

Fast forward a couple of months to when I had the opportunity to fly home for one of my best friend's weddings. I brought my computer home with me in the hopes that my family could find a solution. My dad apparently knows a store that works on vintage macs, and even knows some of the workers personally. So I left it up to him. I'm an amateur adult at best, and I needed a pro adulter; it's a term, look it up. But again, there was no fix for my ancient computer friend. 

Fast forward again to when my family flew to Florida to visit and play in Walt Disney World for a week. I knew my computer was unusable, and also knew that I absolutely did not have money for a new computer. I am living to make ends meet here in Florida. But on the second to last night with my family, my dad whips out this little Macbook Air. It's my brother's old computer. Apparently my dad was on such a mission to get me at least some sort of computer for the next four months, that he brought in this lil guy to his trusty Mac store. They found nothing wrong with it, even though my brother got a completely new computer because this one's keyboard apparently just up and quit working. So here I am. Typing my newest blog post as a lightning storm flashes outside my window and as my family flies back home to Utah. Isn't it such a good thing we have dads? 

So man I have a lot to catch you up on. 

I don't remember much from my last update, but I think it was mainly scrambled. I talked a lot about what was happening since I moved in, and there was a lot going on. There still is a lot going on! I'm a little less busy driving safari trucks though, which is nice. But I love my job even more than I ever thought I would! And I actually think that has a lot to do with me working less hours. It makes me appreciate what I'm doing 5000% more. From June to early August, I was working 6 days a week, without a scheduled one day off a week, so I could work like 13 days in a row. My hours were garbage, meaning I could work 12 hours a day and not get off work until 11:15 at night. Days and weeks were long, I had friends, but not to the caliber that made living here worth it at the time. There was a week where I got extremely sick, and had to call two days out from work. Which means I get "points" on my record card at work, because College Program participants aren't allowed sick days. That's right. We get marked down for being ill. I get what they're trying to prevent. But that just isn't fair. This happened at the exact same time that my computer broke, and also when my car's blinker light fell right out as well. No idea when or where that happened tbh. I was getting better after my two sick days, and then got sick again. So I was just fed up. Ready to throw in the towel. I had tried it, it was real, it was fun, but it hadn't been real fun. I hated Florida with every fiber of my being. The weather, the drivers, the people, how far away from home I was, and how different this was than my Disney dream I had in mind. I was supposed to love it here. I was supposed to want to stay for at least a year or so. I would audition and find my way into Entertainment. That was the plan. Maybe I didn't like safaris, but maybe I would like performing (since, ya know, that's kinda my thing). I had it all mapped out. And then here I was.

Homesick.

It doesn't happen to everyone. Being homesick I mean. Some people I talked to weren't as sympathetic as others. They didn't understand my dilemma. "I couldn't stay at home forever." "And I could still visit family, it wasn't like I was dead or in another country." But sometimes it felt like it. Florida is really far away from Utah. Sure it's only a two hour time difference, but two hours feels like a lot sometimes. Especially early in the morning, or late at night. 

I don't think it is just homesickness though. I also think it's a little bit of something else as well. Or probably a lot of something else. That something else being, the Lord helping me find my way. I kept asking myself, why was I in Florida if this wasn't a link to my future? Why was I here if I wasn't going to stay at Disney longterm? Why was I here if I hate it soo much? Was it really worth it? My friends at home would still love me if I came home early. I had never missed home so much. Even in Nauvoo when I was so completely out of my comfort zone, surrounded by people I didn't know, doing something I had no idea if I'd be good at; I knew I was supposed to be there. And the homesickness disappeared in just a week or so. But here? Am I supposed to be here? My last blog was basically screaming that as I tried to reassure myself and everyone around me that YES Disney World is amazing and YES this is so much fun. 
I think back on my couple of months right before leaving, and I can feel how anxious I was to go. I was ready for a new adventure, even with the bittersweet goodbyes. I felt like I had run out of life in Utah. There wasn't anything left there for me. 

But as I have lived here in Florida, I have felt so much appreciation for the home I left. For literally the state and place I lived. With it's beautiful mountains, dry heat, and four seasons. For the people I have in my daily life at home. Family, Nauvoo family, theatre friends, my ward, my cat. For the life I seemed to be outgrowing. Living at home, performing all the time, working at a credit union. For living in a state with so many members of the church. Now that may sound cultish, or naive, or like I want to live in my sheltered "Mormon" bubble because the "real world" was too hard. But I know that Florida is good for me in that sense. It has been good to get out of my comfort zone, and actually have real discussions about my beliefs. And stand up for what I believe in. It's been so strange being the only member in my friend group out here. So I know the Lord is teaching me a LOT out here, and that is definitely a reason to be out here. But back to what I was saying, Utah is just a good place. Wholesome and sweet and happy and good. Full of good people. And I realized while being out here that I definitely want my future home to raise my family in to be in Utah. Sure traveling the world sounds fun. But I think I'll always call Utah home. 

I guess if sending me all the way to Florida was what it took to learn how much I actually hadn't outgrown my home, then I'd do it again in a heart beat. 

After returning to full health and saying I'd stick it out until the time my family got here, I'm happy to report that I am much happier than I was a couple months ago. And that I will be staying all the way until January. I can't leave now! The friends that I wasn't worried about leaving before, I now tear up at the thought of living so far away from them. The job I hated and got anxiety about, I now appreciate so much more even despite not always wanting to be there. I love those animals, and it is a privilege to see them up close every day as my freaking JOB. I certainly know a lot more about African animals than I ever thought I would. And I have gained an even larger appreciation for those wild animals than I knew I could. I remember barely being able to tell the species of animals apart, but now I can even tell individual animals of the same species apart. I've always loved animals, so I am super grateful to be having this experience. When I think about my future and what I want to do with it, I now want animals to be a large part of it. I'm not sure what. But I'm open to the possibilities.

So yeah driving safaris is pretty rad. And I get super excited any time a friend or family member gets to jump on my truck and I get to drive them around for 20 minutes and tell them some cool animal facts. 

I'm so glad that I have stuck it out here in Florida. I kinda love the monsoons in a way now. I definitely love them while I'm working. It clears out the guests and makes our jobs a little easier. 
I have some crazy stories from working the past couple of months at safaris. And some really cool stories as well. Here's just a few:

• lightning striking right next to me on the reserve
• being stopped on the reserve for two hours straight
• crocodiles snapping at each other
• picking up ladies underwear on the dock after everyone unloaded out of the truck
• seeing elephants splash around in their water
• hearing a hyena whoop
• an ostrich running right in front of me, multiple times
• lions roaring 
• being able to see a baby elephant, baby giraffe, baby mandrill, baby hippo, and baby bongo all grow up a little 

Needless to say, spending my days on Harambe's Wildlife Reserve is definitely not all bad. I'm glad I stuck it out. And my friends make it even more worth it. There's nothing more satisfying than a bunch of us khakis in a group at the back of the bus. I also love the movie nights my friends and I have after work sometimes. I wanna talk about some of them, to let you know I've got some good ones:

There's Katie. Katie is little, but full of feminism and power. She has the cutest short hair and glasses. She makes me feel validated and loved. She and I have the same type in men, movies, and books. She listens to me about anything and everything, giving me confidence in every breath. She loves bonteboks. I love Katie.
There's Quinton. I call him Crouton, or Stale Bread, or Q. Or basically any other nickname because he calls me Jennifer and deserves it. He loves Massachusetts, and is probably even more homesick than me. He's a lanky 19 year old boy and I take him shopping for food all the time; basically all of the girls in our friend group are his mom. I love Quinton. 
There's Kacy. He's the strong guy and the ladies man. He's a cutie, and he protects his people. And yet he's always "punching" me and giving me a hard time. He laughs a lot. I love messing around with him, he literally pretended to be a dinosaur with me once. I love when his eyes squint when he laughs. He loves meerkats. I love Kacy.
There's Desiree. She's my queen and "wife." We joke around a lot and literally looking at her makes me happy. I love her curly hair and sparkly eyes. She is my favorite to joke around with, and I feed her fruit snacks. (Not this blueb). She makes me feel included and wants to make sure I'm taken care of. She is also an introvert and loves movie nights. She loves patterson elands, specifically Ben. I love Desiree.
There's Bailey. She has the cutest accent and is such a sassy human. She loves Florida and loves Disney and loves Universal. She has a strong personality, and I love being one of her friends. She is always the host and offers her place for movie nights. She always has chips and salsa at her place. Playing wordscapes has never been more competitive. She loves patterson elands too. I love Bailey.
There's Maki. She has beautiful curly hair as well, and is the one of us that actually wanted to be placed at safaris. She is basically full time because she picks up so many hours. She loves reading and actually read my favorite book (which I recommended to her) in one day. She is very smart. She loves zebras. I love Maki. 

So that's my squad at safaris. They are all CPS. But I do have other people that I love dearly at safaris that aren't in the College Program. 

Like Garrett. Garrett is a literal angel and is my favorite lil bean. He always makes my day anytime I see him. He loves light pink like me. He is one of my best friends that I know I will be friends with forever. He is planning on moving to Utah next year sometime and that makes me happier than happy. He loves bonteboks. I love Garrett.
Like Bri. She is full of love and is glowing with life. She literally looks at me and I feel instantly better. She makes me feel like I could take on the world. She loves everyone around her and loves singing and loves making people laugh. She loves rhinos. I love Bri.

I love my people, and I hope you do now too.

So I am going to treasure the last four months of my program, because I know they are going to go by faster than fast. Yes, I am looking forward to going home. I am excited to do shows, hangout with friends, see my family every day, earn money again, etc. But this is a time in my life that will never happen again. I am young and living in Disney World for the year. I am working for a company I still love and highly admire. I am making magic, and getting to visit the parks any time I want. I am living a fantasy right now. And it won't last forever. So for the next four months I am going to soak up all of this. Living on my own with my best friend roommates. Eating mickey bars and churros and pretzels and dole whips for meals. Spending all of my money on Disney merchandise. Going on a rollercoaster before work. A literal fantasy. 

I just think it's good I found a limit to the magic of Disney. Yes I will always love Disney. But no I don't want to work for this company forever. Working for a big company is not my thing. I want to be a person that isn't just a number, I want to know who I work for and I want them to know me. (Don't get me wrong I haven't gotten sick of visiting Disney at all).

If I do find my way to Disney again, it will be in entertainment, but I can't do it alone. I will do it as an adventure with my husband perhaps (but this is obviously all hypothetical). And I will only work at Disneyland in the future. Disney World is missing the charm that Disneyland has. Disneyland freaking hugs you and kisses you. Plus Disneyland just has the childhood magic for me. That's where I grew up visiting, that's where I'll take my children. Disney World will always be a part of me, but Disneyland will always be my home. <<Plus it's closer to my actual home. 

It was nice to have my family here visiting for the past nine days though. We stayed at the Old Key West Resort, and it was absolutely incredible. Our hotel room was bigger than my apartment, and I looked forward to going home to it every night. I only had to work three days while they were visiting, so it really did feel like I was on vacation with them. Except I knew everything about the parks and they didn't know anything. But that was the fun of it! It was fun to show them around and to show them my favorite parts about each park. And yet I discovered new favorite parts and tried lots of new things with them. We had an incredible dining experience every single night, and my top favorites were Cinderella's Royal Table, 50s Prime Time Cafe, and Liberty Square Tavern. 

Cinderella's Royal Table was a literal dream. We got to do something not many people get to do. We got to eat inside Cinderella's castle. Literally inside of it. Got to eat while looking out the windows at Fantasyland down below. Some of the best food I've ever eaten, a brilliant server named Collette, and princesses wandering table to table. We got to meet Cinderella and Prince Charming as we walked in. And then Snow White, Ariel, Jasmine, and Aurora we met while we were eating. 
50s Prime Time Cafe was an absolute blast. We had my favorite server I've ever had, Matt; he kept us laughing all evening. Dinner was amazing, and the atmosphere was super fun. If I worked at a restaurant, I would want to work somewhere similar.
Liberty Square Tavern was all you could eat on some of the most delicious food I've ever had. It would be perfect for Thanksgiving, so maybe I'll find myself there for Thanksgiving this year.

I got to go to a Halloween Party for the first time ever as well! My mom, sister, niece, and I all dressed up in poodle skirts that had The Nightmare Before Christmas characters on them. My niece and I love TNBC, so it seemed like a perfect fit for Halloween. My mom made all of our skirts, complete with a glowing nose for Zero and Christmas lights for Jack. I have never met someone more talented than my mom! The party was so fun. We waited in line for Jack and Sally and got pictures with them, then tried lots of spooky treats, and watched all the Halloween shows they had to offer. We got to see characters like Ooogie Boogie, Hades, and Pain & Panic. And just a whole bunch of villains. It was super rad. 10/10 would recommend. 

Overall it was just really nice to see my family again. I missed them all so much. It was good to have my baby sidekick back. And to ride lots of rollercoasters with my brother, or compare Disneyland to Disney World with my sister, or walk around with my mom and dad that are just happy to be there. I know it wasn't a cheap trip. But it's something I'll cherish forever. 

Well, I'm sure there's more I could type about, but I've typed the day away and I'm worn out. I'm quite tuckered. But I'll leave you with one last list:

What's Bringing Me Joy Right Now:
-Aella the baby giraffe
-driving safaris
-air conditioning
-CANDY CORN
-my billion Disney hats
-my Bongo stuffed animal
-my new Walt Disney World phone case
-being an "extra" in the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular
-lots of new pictures with my family in Disney
-my family
-Halloween time in August/September
-snuggling with Lexie every night
-catching up with roommates
-having a Sunday off from work

                                                       BOO TO YOU HAPPY HALLOWEEN IN SEPTEMBER YA'LL